I’ve recently had two works longlisted for prizes. This is immensely gratifying yet also unnerving.
Publishing contests are akin to swim meets. Each heat eliminates some competitors and advances others. The longlist is like the quarterfinals. The next heat is the shortlist – the semifinals. Then the finalists are chosen and a winner declared.
For those like me, who tend toward the extremes of black and white, being named to a longlist is both joyous and stressful.
It’s amazing to have my work recognized but it hasn’t won or been rejected. It’s that tension that I have a hard time living with.
It reminds me of when my youngest child was little. He couldn’t bear for me to rip a Band-aid off but didn’t like it pulled off slowly either (who does?!).
If I’d let him, he’d wear that Band-aid for weeks and years until it finally lost all of its stick and fall off by itself.
Usually I told him I’d count to three but rip it off at two. Sure, maybe he has trust issues now, but at least we moved on with our lives.
It’s that in-between time – between the yes and the no of accepting my work – that’s difficult for me to bear. I’m definitely a rip-the-Band-aid-off person – let me be sad for a while and then move on.